A Beautiful Life

When I was five years old, I had a dream that I was a nurse who lived in Africa. I was helping children all around me. When I woke up, I knew I was going to be a nurse and I have ever since wanted to live in Africa. In 2008, I went to Kenya with a non-profit organization called Woman's Federation for World Peace to paint and fix the cement flooring in one of WFWP schools. I plan to go back to Africa soon.  In 2009, I passed my boards and became a Registered Nurse.

One of my idols is Florence Nightingale. She was born into a upper class, British family in Florence Italy.  Inspired by what she took as a call from God in February 1837, Florence made a decision to enter nursing in 1844, despite the intense anger and distress of her mother and sister. She rebelled against the expected role for a woman of her status, which was to become a wife and mother. Nightingale worked hard to educate herself in the art and science of nursing, in spite of opposition from her family and the restrictive societal code for affluent young English women.

Florence Nightingale's most famous contribution came during the Crimean War, which became her central focus when reports began to filter back to Britain about the horrific conditions for the wounded. Nightingale arrived early in November 1854 at Selimiye Barracks in Scutari (modern-day Uskudar in Istanbul). She and her nurses found wounded soldiers being badly cared for by overworked medical staff in the face of official indifference. Medicines were in short supply, hygiene was being neglected, and mass infection were common, many of them fatal. There was no equipment to process food for the patients.
At the beginning of the 20th century, it was asserted that Nightingale reduced the death rate from 42% to 2% either by making improvements in hygiene herself or by calling for the Sanitary Commission.

She was an incredible women who embodied Hope, Courage, Vision and Will! I believe that we are able to achieve almost anything if we live our lives with these four components. An article I read about Nightingale says "she began with Hope—the scaffold of being and oxygen for the soul. She believed in the meaning of human life, giving people permission and urging them to believe in the better part of themselves"(Goertz, 2010, p.69)

That is what Hope is, it is the oxygen for our soul. We have to take our lives in our own hands. We only have one life and we should believe that we have the potential to heal ourselves, and to become great beings. I live everyday with the hope that I will be cured and the hope that I can become the best person that God made me to be. Without hope we cannot breathe, we cannot heal, and we cannot live. It is so vital that we incorporate this in our lives. 


The article continues to say "She also demonstrated its twin, Courage—the fuel that renews the energy of hope. Every new departure of human mind and spirit is an act of courage—arising from a life of authenticity" (Goertz, 2010, p.69).


Courage is what will make us continue to fight this disease. We need to embody courage so that we can have the energy to believe that we can heal ourselves. You cannot live without courage, because if you did you would never achieve anything. It takes courage to be able to go to work, go to school or raise a family. I know that I have to have the courage to be able to do whatever it takes for me to be healed. Taking medication is not the solution to healing and curing myself  but I have to have faith and courage that I can do with out those medications.

"Nightingale had Vision—wings that carry us to new realms of possibility. We are lifted beyond rationality, propelled into a compassionate response to issues of the times" (Goertz, 2010, p. 69). 

I have a Vision that I will live free from Lupus. I try to remember to look at myself in the mirror every morning and say "I am free of Lupus. I am incredible, I love myself and I empower myself. I control my life, not Lupus!" Without vision, we are not able to go the distance. We need to have a vision of peace within ourselves and a vision where we live a life of beauty!


"She also had Will—the intention to follow through on her compelling vision with commitment
and passion. She was tirelessly inspired to shape new order as an artist molds clay into an exquisite
work of art" (Goertz,2010, p.69).


When we make our vision for our life we have to be determined to follow through and make that commitment. I see myself free from Lupus but I just don't think it, I live my life as if I were free of Lupus. I am committed to healing and curing myself so I eat a gluten-free, no sugar, low fat, blood-type oriented diet. I take my Omega-3, MSM, Sulferzyme powder, Essentialzyme, Vit C, Cholrella, and my essential oils. I do a gallbladder/liver cleanse every three weeks until I stop having stones come out. I exercise, I try not to complain and live my life with a mindset to serve others. I have the power and the will to heal!!

Life is beautiful and sometimes life throws us something that is unexpected, but we have to live life step by step by becoming the beings we are meant to be. Lupus stinks but Lupus has brought connection, desire, and inspiration to my life.

I will not look Lupus in the eye and curse it out but instead I will embrace it, thank it and say goodbye!

 Thank you for reading. God is with you!
If you would like to know where I get my supplements you can check out youngliving.com or e-mail me.


References

• Bostridge, Mark (2008). Florence Nightingale: The Woman and Her Legend. London: Viking. 
• Gill, G. The extraordinary upbringing and curious life of Miss Florence Nightingale Random House, New York (2005)
• Goertz, Joellen. (2010). Reflection in Transformation Leadership. Journal of Holistic Nursing, 14, 68-69
• McDonald, Lynn ed., Collected Works of Florence Nightingale. Wilfrid Laurier University Press

Hope

One can not get healed if they do not have hope and believe that they can be cured. When I was diagnosed with Lupus I remember thinking about what I was going to do. I knew I did not want to take the medication for it because I hated the side effects, and I also knew that taking the medication was not the solution to my problem. I felt like I had to find another way. Everyday when I wake up, I say to myself "I will cure myself of Lupus. I have control of my life, this disease does not have control of me!" I have hope and know that I will not live my life with Lupus. It took me several years to come to this conclusion. I tried doing a lot of research first to have a better understanding. I tried so many different types of natural supplements and healing approaches, but what made things start to turn around were my thoughts about myself.


I was going through Half Price book store when I came across a DVD called "You can heal your life" by Louise Hay. I DO NOT believe that this was a coincidence. It was only $3.00 so I bought it. That $3.00 was worth a million dollars on how it changed my perception of myself. I guess I always knew that your thoughts have an impact in your life but I had never put it into action. I always hated myself for my past actions, looked at myself as unworthy, and never felt comfortable within myself. After watching this video, my spirit was lifted. I felt that she was speaking to me. I started to change my perceptions and views. It was difficult to do but I knew I had to do it if I wanted to make the first steps in healing myself.


Before we can find a cure or a solution for this type of disease,  there are issues that we must first resolve within ourselves. We have to believe that there is a higher power within us that will help us and will always love us. We have to believe that we are important, we are incredible beings and we are all here for a purpose. My first step in healing myself was to first let God dwell within me, then it was to believe in myself and to love myself because I am worthy of that love. I needed to bring peace, and harmony in my body. I had let go of many resentments, anger and frustrations. In the book "You can Heal your Life" by Louise Hays, she states that there are negative and positive affirmations for almost any disease out there. When I read the affirmation affiliated with Lupus I was able to connect to how I was feeling.  What I learned from this book was to think and to say everyday that "Life loves me, Life loves me".


So what I want to share is that instead of waiting for your disease to control your life, please take control. Your mind is the subject of your body and loving yourself and believing in yourself is the first step to becoming healed. I am still learning everyday to love myself and to find a harmonized spiritual connection to my healing.
Since having Lupus I learned that my thoughts are the most powerful force I own, and that is why I have Hope that I can heal myself.

My journey with Lupus

When one is told that they have a chronic life disease many react that they have lost their lives. The disease ends up controlling their life and people feel a sense of hopelessness and despair. This blog is a reflection of my life with Lupus. I was officially diagnosed with Lupus in October 2007, but started having symptoms September 2005. I was 21 years old when my life with Lupus began and it has since been a difficult but life changing journey. 

Let me explain to those who do not know what Lupus is. This explanation is from the Lupus Foundation of America's website. Lupus is a chronic, autoimmune disease that can damage any part of the body (skin, joints, and/or organs inside the body). Normally our immune system produces proteins called antibodies that protect the body from these invaders. Autoimmune means your immune system cannot tell the difference between these foreign invaders and your body’s healthy tissues ("auto" means "self") and creates auto-antibodies that attack and destroy healthy tissue. These auto-antibodies cause inflammation, pain, and damage in various parts of the body.

Lupus can range from mild to life-threatening. 

I had just started my life being a newly wed and just moved to Ohio. I started going to college studying nursing and working three jobs. I lived with my in-laws where there were seven of us living in a small apartment at that time. Life was not easy. I was trying to find my new way of life with my husband. As most can imagine, moving to a new place, living with a new family and being a young married couple was not easy and it was difficult.
It was about six months later after the move from NJ to Ohio that I started to feel the "symptoms". At that time, I had no idea what was going on. I just had pain in my knees and elbows. I was a waitress at a restaurant called Max and Ermas. It started to become difficult to carry the plates and I started to feel exhausted all the time. I did not take this as a sign to slow down but instead I got another job and continued taking classes. It was around March 2006 where I decided to quit Max and Erma's because my pain in the knees and the elbows became worst. I couldn't extend my elbows and I was having trouble walking up and down the stairs. I started to lose my hair and became more exhausted. At the time, I did not have health insurance so I did not go see a doctor. I started to lose weight, have more pain but this time it was to my other joints such as my fingers, hips and shoulders. 

I went to a massage therapist, chiropractor, and even tried acupuncture. Nothing seemed to work. It was around October of 2006 where I couldn't handle the pain and I needed to know what was going on. So I went to a free clinic. Waited several hours to get in, then several more hours to be seen by someone. That is when they took some blood work.  A week later they called me and said that my platelet levels were 50,000 (normal platelet count is 150,000-450,000) and they wanted me to come back in to take some more blood work. This time I did not have to wait. They took some more blood. I told them that I would be out of town for the next couple of weeks so I would not be able to follow up with them. It was about a week later, I was in NJ at that time and was planning to go to Israel for a peace assembly conference when I received a call from the clinic. They sounded paranoid and said that my platelet levels were 38,000 and that I should go to the emergency room immediately. They were worried that I would have a brain hemorrhage. I remember listening to them about going to the ER but the whole entire time when I was in the ER, I could not stop thinking about my medical expenses since I did not have insurance, and I also was not a NJ resident anymore. I waited 5 hours to get a room and the doctor saw me for two seconds and told me I should be admitted. They had told me that my platelet levels were 42,000. I thought "it has not gone down, and I can not afford this" so I told them that I was discharging myself.  This all happened during a weekend, and by Monday I had to cancel my trip to Israel. I made an appointment to see a Rheumatologist  in NJ before I left back to Ohio. They did a simple blood test in the office my platelets were about the same, but he checked my anti-body levels. 

That is the first time I ever heard about Lupus. I can remember the exact words he said. "Kayo, I believe you may have a disease called Lupus. Have you ever heard about it?" I replied "No". "Well", he says "it is a chronic anti-inflammatory disease that effects your joints, and organs but it can be manageable. That is why you are probably feeling the way you are. But you will need to take some further test when you go back to Ohio to confirm that this is what you have". I remember I didn't know exactly what to think. I was not aware of what kind of journey this disease was going to take me. I just remember thinking "What am I going to do?"